Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Super-Sized Surprise

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant, and today we had our big sonogram! We were actually supposed to find out yesterday, but due to a mix-up at our doctor's office, the big reveal had to be delayed for a painstaking 24 more hours! Poor little Baby Beluga was all hopped up on pre-sonogram Dr. Pepper for nothing yesterday!

Today we returned with great anticipation and the full expectation that we were in for the news, "It's a boy!" I must admit that, having had only brothers, I have always hoped to someday have a daughter. We both want at least one of each if we got to special-order our children, so of course we would have been thrilled with either gender. But, in the back of my mind I have always hoped to have a daughter first. Partly because I am the first-born in my family and I think big sisters are great! How else are you going to have someone convincing the other siblings that it would be wonderful to surprise Mom and Dad with a clean house when they get home? I just can't see a big brother organizing that, but I guess it depends on the brother! Also, as much as I want a son someday (and would have been thrilled to have a son first!) I had this nagging fear that if I didn't get a daughter right off the bat, I might never get one at all.

Growing up, I pictured myself as the mother of all boys. I simply adore boys and will let you in on the secret that I wished I were a boy myself through many of my growing up years. I used to write essays (I know, I'm a dork!) about how much easier it was to be a boy. The essays consisted of themes like: If you're a girl and you don't shave, it's considered to be gross... if you're a boy and you don't shave, you're thought of as manly because you grew a beard. If you're a boy you can run around with your shirt off and pee wherever you want (within reason, of course). If you're a girl you're expected to wear make-up and look great all of the time. And, of course, there was always the mention of the monthly "visitor" and all of the unfairness that entails. Plus, I always detested the drama of girls and the back-stabbing, gossiping nature of so many girl relationships. Boys do it the right way - they have a fist fight and then return to being buddies. Why can't girls be like that?

The general consensus among many of our friends and family was that I was going to have a boy. I believed it myself - I was having dreams about having a boy, I completely stopped searching for girls' names and instead pored over the boy names section of my baby names books. Even our midwife said that, based on the heartbeat, we were likely having a boy. So imagine our surprise when the stenographer announced, "Your baby isn't being cooperative, but I can get a peek and... you're having a little girl!" Krister was so shocked that he thought she was kidding at first. As she pointed out the evidence, tears streamed down my face in a steady flow that didn't stop until we left the office (only to resume in the form of happy sobs when I got to the car). I want a son someday. I love boys and all of the dirty, rambunctious fun that they bring with them. I want to have a little Krister running around the house and cheer for him at sporting events (or whatever events in which he chooses to participate! We can only hope he gets Krister's natural ability when it comes to sports!) I want a son. But today, my prayer for a daughter was answered. I am so grateful.